reviews of two lines that just happen to rhyme

Here's a change for the normally far-too-verbose Noleo: a compilation of rhyming two-line reviews for the many things I've consumed of late. Feel free to thank me for the time I didn't spend on delving into the deeper meanings of Objectivism in how it relates to the plight of BioShock 2's protagonist.

And away we go...

Hot Tub Time Machine

Lloyd Dobbler and friends in a miserable fix, they who have no reason to smile. A magical hot tub whisks them to '86, best laughs of the year by a mile.

 Broken Bells - Self Titled

Dangerous Rodent and Guy from Shins team up quiet well, a dreary dream ride through psychological stuff. But somewhat forgettable songs leave your mind a shell - one listen may well be enough.

Black Dynamite

A mighty sendup to the blacksploitation hero, his kung fu treachery is strong. With nun-chucks and humor he bludgeons the zeros, he fights to keep black men long.

Just Cause 2

A latino CIA agent, with grapple and gritt, takes down a regime to help the isles' suffragettes. But make no mistake, it's B-movie shit, it's really about surfing on jets.

Sobriety

Long days of work sometimes make me thirst - but with no fermentation I am left wanting. If not for "near beer" I'd send someone to a hearse, I find the next two months quite daunting.

God of War III

Kratos the Spartan has no sense of humor, he has no time for glee. For the third time I must climb out of hades, it's two times too many for me.

Liver Mousse - Sans Pants

A darling pairing of Cody and Caitlin, as a couple and as a band. Love makin' and Nachos, the EPs is waitin' at Sneaky Beans to leave in your hand.

Whip It

Round and round the jammers do jam, derby girls can be quite adorable. Ellen Page is a Babe most Ruthless, by damn, to miss this flick would be deplorable.

Healthcare Bill

Whoever knows whats in this jumble should surely be celebrated. The Republicans bested, Glen Beck must now grumble, my joy cannot be debated.

Dark Void

On paper this game seemed the best of all time, Rocketeering and killing off evil-doers. But the final execution was not so sublime, its story did smell of manure.

She & Him - Volume Two

Zooey and M. Ward are back for more fun, delighting the nostalgic hip chap. Not quite as fresh or good as the Volume One, it's still better than most indie crap.

Bioshock 2

Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink, Art Deco architecture doesn't like getting wet. Objectivism vs. humanism does make one think, a game worth playing you can bet.

Gorillaz - Plastic Beach

That guy from Blur makes another return, with all of his cartoon band. A bunch of merry monkeys, but when will they learn, less pop often equals more bland.