You would never know it to look at me, but I love glam rock so much it hurts. Aesthetically, I'm pretty devoid of pigments, opting for black 9 times out of 10. But inside, there is a Technicolor 70's NYC hipster with skinny pants and glittery eyeliner, pretending to be an alien from the future. Scratch that...I'd be British. But the creator did not grace me with the form, temporal placement, or geography to pull it off.  And I'm straight. But hey, we all have our cross, right? All of that is to say that it is a subject dear to my glittery heart. So along the next couple of paragraphs, I will touch on some of the things that make it such an incredible era of music which spawned a cultural revolution, particularly for the Lesbian/Gay/Bi/Transexual community.

You cannot begin this conversation without touching on what exactly the glam rock era is in relation to rock history as a whole. It all started with this cat named Mark Bolan in 1970-71...you might have heard of his band T-Rex. He more or less established the look and tone of the era - a theatrical and campy world of androgynous aliens from the future , platform shoes and outlandish costume, which was quickly adopted by the popular subculture. After Bolan pushed open the door, artists such as David Bowie, Lou Reed, Sweet, Slade, and The Stooges would adapt elements into their own styles in 71 and the years to follow. Bowie was most famous for his incarnation which took the imagery literally, spinning off into the Ziggy Stardust persona. Lou Reed, on the other hand, opted not for the space opera, but for a purer NYC drag scene with his landmark album Transformer.  Iggy Pop would take his garage rock sound to new levels with his Bowie-produced epic Raw Power, which was the genesis of punk rock. Other notable acts would include the proto-punk band New York Dolls, the British prog-rock of Roxy Music, the Bowie produced Mott The Hopple, and Brian Eno, the famous producer of U2 and countless other acts.

Later Queen would take up the mantle and take it into the 80's to help produce the glam metal movement which spawned the androgynous hair band, the progeny being Poison, Warrant, Bon Jovi and countless others. Bands like The Damned and The Ramones carried on Iggy Pop and The Stooges legacy and spawned NYC punk, which in turn produced British punk giving us legendary bands such as The Clash and The Sex Pistols and eventually Billy Idol...granted most of the glitter had disappeared by that point. Pop acts such as Duran Duran, The Cure, Culture Club and others were direct decedents as well, perhaps in the cultural sense more than recognizable musical conventions.

Clearly, the shadow of glam rock was cast long and dense over music, but it was just as influential to the greater cultural zeitgeist. Pop culture would be altered forever as the 70's and 80's would be dominated by the vivid color palate and androgynous styles that saturated art and design through Andy Warhol and the Pop art movement,  film and stage. Gay, Bi, and Transsexual movements would also benefit from the greater cultural recognition and acceptance the glam era provided. Stage productions such as Rocky Horror Picture Show and Hedwig and the Angry Inch became cult classics, giving the straightest of boys the chance to go drag one night out of the year. There is liberation in that, I suspect. In fact, I think many straight guys yearn for a chance to run around in dresses...thousands do every year at events like New Orleans' Red Dress Charity Run. Maybe, like me, we were just in the wrong place in the wrong era.

But while we're all sorting that out, I highly suggest you check out the film Velvet Goldmine by Todd Haynes. It essentially tells the story of David Bowie and the Ziggy Stardust persona; his relationships with Iggy Pop, Marc Bolan, and Lou Reed; and his eventual mainstream, heterosexual "sellout." While the names have been changed for the innocent, and the personalities have been scrambled into more archetypal representations, the film tells the story of glam better than any other piece I've consumed to date. The soundtrack is phenomenal, featuring covers of glam classics and original tracks by musicians from Radiohead, The Stooges, T-Rex, Placebo,  Elastica, and Grant Lee Buffalo, as well as the legendary Lou Reed, Mark Bolan, and Roxy Music's Brian Ferry. It is currently available for instant streaming on Netflix.

2009 was quite the roller coaster year for ole' Noleo. Through the ups and downs, I discovered some things about myself, and have used this discovery to fuel what I hope is a successful endeavor for a better 2010. Here are the steps I personally wish to take in order to have a better year, and I suspect that maybe even one of these will be useful for someone else. It's a tough process, to be sure. But the journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Would you like to take a walk with me?

1) Be Positive

Once, it was considered quite cool  to be sarcastic...constantly tearing down for an easy response from others. Point of fact, I was a master at this. But something happened in 2009. It occurred to me that our world has enough issues, and contributing more negative energy to the formula for the sake of a laugh really just poisons our spirits further. Being constantly negative is exhausting to the soul. It steals the joy from your heart, as the positive point of view gets skewed further and further. And at some point, it becomes really exhausting to those around you. I know this fact well.

So in 2010, I'm planning to hold myself to this one simple goal: If I find myself on the verge of spewing more negative energy into a world already filled with it, take a moment to think of a positive thought that can be shared regarding the subject at hand. True, it's harder to lift up than to tear down, but the result is you have something to hold onto that is stronger. The world can be a 1/7 billionth better place.

2) Get off your butt - for the sake of your spirit

This one is fairly simple, but extremely tough: get off your butt. For me, this is particularly tricky, as many of the things I love to do require me to be on my butt. This is all the more reason to break out of that habbit. And to be clear, I don't mean this to be a weight loss thing, although I could certainly stand to lose a good bit. I mean it more for the spirit.

It is a proven fact that exercise, however hardcore you choose to be with it, is a very psychologically healthy endeavor. Sure, it reduces stress. But what it really does, and I'm witness to this over the course of last year, is that it makes you feel better about yourself. I'm not talking about making you feel like Adonis. I'm talking about feeling good about yourself for not being a sloth...you're out there doing something positive for your body, and your soul will thank you for it. Speaking of which, something as simple as a leisurely walk or bike ride give you something precious: time with your own mind. You can choose to process things on your own, or if you prefer, it's an excellent opportunity for prayers of thanks (or just sending out some positive vibes) for the incredible world we have around us. When you find an opportunity to give thanks every day, you will see the world in a new, more appreciative way. I can testify to this.

3) Remember your friends

This is truly where I blew it this year in my own life. I'm blessed with many fantastic people that I am fortunate enough to call my friends. And I ignored them. It was not a conscious thing, I assure you, but it was an actual phenomenon all the same. I found myself finding it easier to hermit up, which led to a nice bout of depression in 09. A man's friends are his lifeline, and I'd allowed that line to become wrapped around my neck. My soul was blacking out.

So my goal for this year is to get out to see one friend or group of friends every week. Could be happy hour or grabbing lunch. But just reconnect. So if you get a call from me, and haven't in ages, please know that I did not mean to take you for granted. I'm just a depressive type who sometimes lets his hermit-like nature get out of hand...being social isn't something that is easy for me. I need you back in my life, my friend, and I'm not ashamed to say so. I hope to have a drink with you all soon.

4) Absorb, don't consume

Part of my 09 journey that I found most soul-soothing was the process of taking time to appreciate what I'm consuming. Be it food, drink, music, art, or whatever, it's something you are consuming into your being. You have the opportunity to scarf it down, or to savor every moment. One of those is quite easy, like a child in his high-chair, shoving birthday cake into whatever surface of his face he can find...but swallowing almost nothing. It takes time for this same child to learn how to take his time and slowly taste each bite, one at a time, stopping when he's full. You know which one of these approaches will be more fulfilling, but for some reason we find ourselves just bathing in what we consume just for the sake of consuming it.

Let's take music as an example. The MP3 age has allowed us all to consume far greater amounts of the stuff, as we can easily share, download, and make playlists from a very diverse and limitless supply of music. It's instant gratification, where there is no such thing as a "rare" track or album. It's all out there. All digital. And all available at this moment. We are spoiled in this.

In 09, I probably consumed 200 full albums of new music, and I am not exaggerating. Is there any way I could possibly appreciate any of it when I consumed so much of it? Not really. I remember a time in my youth when getting a new album was a major ordeal. First you had to pay for it, and on minimum wage, paying for an album was much harder. So a great deal of thought went into each purchase. And after each purchase, it became part of a prized collection, of which was largely unique in my circle of friends. There was pride in this. And I listened to each of those albums from start to finish so many times that I knew every word, every note, and every fretboard scratch on every album I owned. I loved them intensely. So much that if I heard certain songs while out and about, I've had emotional reactions to them in the wild, apart from the confines of my headphones and shared with others.

Does that happen now when I consume so much? Of course not. Playlists make it too easy to throw away the parts you don't want, as a DJ only uses the bits he needs at any given moment. Well, I don't want to be a DJ anymore. I want to be sommelier. I want to know each album, if not by heart, then at least enough to recognize it again after that first cursory listen. I want to feel each bit of music, and let it emotionally take hold. It's a connection to the soul, which is what makes it special in the first place. To not pause and appreciate the subtleties of it is a waste. 

Such is food. Such is drink. Such is time with friends. You see what I'm getting at here? Savor each bit, each taste and each moment. In short, slow down. And for the sake of all that is good in the world, buy some decent headphones.

5) Create

This one doesn't require a lengthy description. Just find an outlet for what you have inside. Be it a painting, song, scrapbook, or a photograph, give yourself the opportunity to get out what cannot be expressed in everyday communication.

I am convinced that every human on the planet has a creative spirit...that every soul produces in excess emotions that have the potential to be expressed in extraordinary ways...even if the person has no skills with which to express these things that the spirit has within. It is this process of recognizing this font of emotion that is the first step in the journey to becoming an artist. Quality or talent has nothing to do with it. In fact, the perception of quality or talent is detrimental to the pure expression of what is within. The moment you try to make it fit to external standards, it is compromised. So don't worry about that stuff. Just create for the sake of creating. Even if no other human ever lays eyes on it. It is the process of creation that is beneficial to your soul.

6) Write letters again

Texting, Facebook, and emails are wonderful things, marvels of this modern life. They allow us instant communication with those in our lives...even those who we don't really know. We are now far more connected than ever before. Here's the but you know is coming: these forms of communication are cold and impersonal to the point that they are disposable. Do you remember getting letters in the mail? Do you remember easily throwing them away? Well, maybe it's just me, but a handwritten letter from a friend is worth 100 emails. There is time and care placed into its creation. There is an organic nature to it. An uniqueness that makes each letter an expression...almost like little works of art. There is the stamp, perhaps an afterthought, but possibly chosen with care to bring a smile to the receiver. The choice of paper and envelope...again, these things create an emotional tone that goes along with the content. I for one, want to show my friends and family a little more love and care in my messages. If only to say hello, and I'm thinking of you. Strange impulse, this one, but I'm gonna give it a try.

7) Tell stories

One of the great lost arts of my adulthood is the ability to tell stories. Sure, I can tell a story, but there is a difference between simply recounting events and engrossing the listener with the enthusiastic use of detail and emotion. My Grandfathers were the master of this. They could charm, entertain, and engross you with their stories, even if the story wasn't particularly brilliant in and of itself. It's a true skill. One for which there are actual competitions in Europe, particularly Ireland. If you want to see how it's done all proper like, check out Eamon Kelly, an Irish storytelling legend.

8) Let go

This isn't to be preachy, but holding in negative energies toward another person (or a grudge, if you prefer) is a cancer to your soul. It eats at you, stealing the joy you have in life, and letting the person or thing that you hold in contempt, hold power over you. This concept is nothing new. Each person who has ever held a grudge knows exactly what I'm talking about. Yet we can't let go. Is it pride? Machismo? Is the pain to much to let it go unavenged? Is it fear? In my opinion, it's the ID...It is the lizard part of our brains. It's the instinct of survival.  And therefore, it can be quite useful.

But not here. Not in the context of how we deal with others. When we perceive ourselves as having been wronged, we place up barriers to protect ourselves in the future. To forgive, or let go, is to knock those defenses down and allow ourselves to be vulnerable again. So we fortify ourselves even further. Hardening ourselves to the world at large, and not just the original attacker. But in doing so, you make yourself a city under siege from those who are not your enemies. You are cut off, and left to wither. Therefore, you must lay down your defenses. Let go. Sometimes that leads to hurt. But sometimes we have to hurt to get healthy.

With that in mind, let's return to cancer metaphor. There are but a few ways to effectively fight it: a) cut it out - this would be the quick and decisive "letting go" which doesn't always work. Sometimes you miss a bit and have to go back in, but it is an active choice to purge...or b) chemo - a scorched Earth method where we beat ourselves down in order to kill the offending pathogen...it's long, drawn-out and painful process with no guarantee of success. This is the process of trying to let go over time with no direction or decisive intent. It's a race to see if you can get rid of the cancer before it eats you alive, but there is no clearly defined path on which to race...you only hope you are pointed in the right direction. Both of these approaches leave you sore and in recovery. But one is far quicker and less invasive. It's a decision of eradication of the sickness as a whole. Cut it out of you in one chunk. Let it go. With real cancer, you don't always have the choice of what treatment to take. But with grudges, you do have a choice. Get on with your life, and get on with the healing, or let it linger and hope that time heals it for you.

It's an easy choice in theory, and I'm fully aware of the folly involved with both approaches, as it doesn't always work how you want it to. But in my experience, the active choice is always better than the alternative. And the choice to let go is one that heals your soul like no other. It's always worth trying.

9) If you love someone, tell them

This is at once the easiest and the hardest item on the list, but can also do more for the soul than any of the others. The simple act of expressing love for someone, in either a familial or romantic way, is for some reason, perceived  by the brain as the act of laying down your defenses. An expression of surrender. An expression of weakness. And in truth, it can be the equivalent of unzipping your soul's fly, to excuse the expression, allowing ourselves to be laid bare and vulnerable. But in my experience, I've found it to be empowering. A form of letting go, in itself.

Love, as many might have experienced, is a force of nature akin to a volcano when kept inside. It shakes us up, creating tension that if not released, explodes in the most inconvenient of ways. To express this feeling to a friend or one with significant other potential, is to release this well within you in a manner of your choosing. It allows you some manner of control, empowering you with the initiative. And it just plain feels good to get it out there, regardless the implications. And in regard for the effect on your soul, it negates the possibility of regret for things unsaid. And in my opinion, formed by making the mistake time and again in my life, there is no greater regret than something left unsaid.

10) Live without fear

If there is one unifying thread to almost everything on this list, it is the element of fear. To put simply, fear is both one of our most useful tools in survival of body, but one of the most destructive forces for our souls. It is the enemy of hope. It prevents us from achieving our potential as it cripples our ability to take risks. I am well acquainted with this concept, because it has repeatedly been the cause for regret in my life. But every day we are blessed with on this planet is a chance to turn things around. A chance to live without fear and get closer to achieving the potential locked within us all.

My prayer for this year is that we all can put aside fear, and live our lives one step at a time on the journey of achieving our potentials, and healing our souls.

Hello boys and girls. Clearly, I've faltered on some of my goals of content this week, and I'm truly bummed about it. But ole' Noleo has been quite busy of late. But now the weekend is upon me, and it looks like progress may be made to catch up a bit. So what have I been up to?

1) I'm Just looking for one divine hammer.

Red Faction: Guerilla - so much shit to blow up, so little time. Man, this game is fun. There is nothing like planting some remote charges on a truck, driving it into a building and taking out the wall, and then detonating it to bring the entire thing down. Basically, you're a part of this revolutionary army on Mars, fighting to bring down the tyrannical, oppressive forces from Earth. And you have a gigantic hammer. Expect a full review as soon as possible, but there is a TON of content here, and it is gonna take a long time to play through.

2) I've got lightening bolts coming out of my arse.

InFAMOUS - open world superhero playground. You are basically Emperor Palpatine if he were a bike messenger in a post-apocalyptic city. There nothing quite like grinding a power line while shooting lightening bolts at guys wearing trash bags. Seriously. This one has kinda taken a back seat a bit, as the aforementioned power line grinding action kinda pales to steering a giant robot into an office complex. And like Red Faction, this game features an enormous amount of content and is clearly taking longer than I thought it would to finish up. There is the option to play through as good or evil, and I'm playing through as good...so I may play through again to see how the other half lives.

3) Viva Cinema!

Too many freaking movies are coming out...UP, The Hangover, Land of the Lost...all look fantastic. And the bigger blockbusters haven't even hit yet. Clearly, I'll not be seeing them all, but it is my goal this weekend to see at least one of them. I'm particularly excited about The Hangover. Looks to be EPIC fun.

4) I am Prometheus.

I need some fire time...an opportunity to char some meat, to sip some drink, and to listen to the Earth. To me, there is nothing in this life that is quite as spiritual as watching a fire in solitude. I'm pretty sure that, somewhere in that plasma, you can see your own future. Not in a bleak way, but in a spiritual way where you connect to something so primal that your perspective shifts.